Man Who Said He Was “Just Resting His Eyes” Wakes Up In 2029 |Slightly off press

TULSA, OK— A local man who reportedly told his family he was “just resting his eyes for a minute” woke up Tuesday morning in the year 2029, according to relatives who said they initially assumed he was joking before realizing that the calendar, television programming and several outdated household appliances had all been replaced.

The man, identified by relatives only as a local resident in his 30s, reportedly sat down on his couch shortly after lunch on Monday after complaining that he was “a little tired.”

“I wasn’t going to take a nap,” the man said. “I was literally just going to close my eyes for a second.”

According to his family, the man fell asleep at approximately 1:14 p.m.

He did not wake up until 8:37 a.m. four years later.

His first indication that something was wrong came when he reached for his phone and noticed that the lock screen displayed a date he did not recognize.

“I thought my phone was broken,” he said. “Then I looked at the microwave and it said 2029. Then I looked outside and there was a car I had never seen before in my driveway.”

Family members said they initially attempted to explain the situation as a prank, but eventually had to inform him that he had been unconscious for more than four years and had missed several birthdays, two family reunions, three Thanksgiving dinners and the entire commercial rollout of a product nobody in the household was particularly interested in.

“He kept asking what happened,” said one relative. “We told him he went to sleep.”

“He said, ‘For how long?’”

“We said, ‘Four years.’”

According to relatives, the man spent several minutes staring silently at the wall before asking whether he had at least gotten enough rest.

Medical professionals consulted by the family reportedly declined to speculate on how the man could have remained asleep for such an extended period, though one physician said the incident demonstrated the importance of being “very specific about what constitutes a short nap.”

The physician also reportedly advised the man to seek immediate medical evaluation before attempting to take another nap.

The man's absence apparently created a number of logistical problems during the four year period.

His employer had initially listed him as being on extended leave before eventually removing him from payroll. His driver's license expired. His car insurance lapsed. Several streaming subscriptions were canceled after his credit card expired, while others continued charging him for years because, according to his bank, “nobody remembered they existed.”

His family also said they had stopped asking where he was sometime during 2026.

“We figured he was either still sleeping or had moved,” said his sister.

The man reportedly became increasingly distressed after learning that several cultural references he remembered from 2026 had disappeared entirely.

He was particularly upset to learn that a fast food restaurant he liked had changed its menu.

“They took away the thing I ordered every time,” he said.

“You were asleep for four years,” his sister reminded him.

“I understand that,” he replied. “But why would they do that?”

The man also reportedly spent nearly an hour attempting to determine why several friends had stopped responding to his messages, before being informed that most of them had changed phone numbers, moved to different states or gotten married.

One friend, according to the family, had apparently been waiting four years for the man to return a $20 bill.

“He said I could keep it,” the man said.

“He did not,” his sister replied.

“He basically did.”

“He specifically asked for it back.”

The man has since begun attempting to catch up on the years he missed, though relatives said his efforts have been complicated by the sheer volume of events he missed.

He reportedly spent Monday evening watching four years' worth of news summaries before giving up after approximately 11 minutes.

“I don't think I can do this,” he said.

He also reportedly asked why everyone seemed to be talking about technologies he had never heard of and why several websites he remembered using had either changed completely or no longer existed.

At one point, he reportedly asked whether anyone had saved his place in 2026.

“No,” his sister told him.

“Can we go back?”

“No.”

“Can I at least get my nap back?”

“No.”

Despite the confusion, the man said he remains optimistic about returning to normal life and has already made several plans for the coming week.

Those plans include renewing his driver's license, checking his bank account, figuring out what happened to his car, contacting his former employer and “taking a quick nap later.”

His family has strongly advised against the final item.

“I don't care if he's tired,” his sister said. “He is staying awake.”

The man, however, appeared unconcerned.

“I'll just rest for five minutes,” he said.

Relatives immediately began removing the couch from the living room.

Disclaimer: This article is entirely fictional and is intended for purposes of humor and satire. All characters, names, and events depicted in this story are products of imagination and are not meant to be taken seriously.

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