PROVO, UT — Reckless Ben, a 23-year-old internet user with what friends describe as “an almost irresponsible inability to leave an interesting Google result alone,” reportedly exposed the inner workings of Utah’s troubled-teen facility this week after spending several days reading about Provo Canyon School and becoming increasingly convinced that something about the whole situation was deeply strange.
Ben's investigation began with a search for information about residential treatment programs and ended, approximately six hours later, with 31 browser tabs open, and the realization that the phrase “therapy for these deeply troubled pot smokers” appeared with unusual frequency in documents describing places where teenagers apparently spent a great deal of time being trauma dumped on by well trained, background check passing employees.
“I had 6 papers worth of notes,” Ben said. “I just kept finding stuff.”
The discovery came at an especially awkward moment for Provo Canyon School, a real Utah residential "treatment facility" that has faced substantial public scrutiny and recent state regulatory action. Utah revoked the licenses of its campuses in July, with the Provo campus ordered to cease providing services by August 15. The school has disputed the state's findings and said it was considering its legal and administrative options.
Ben said what initially caught his attention was the difference between the language used to describe the teenagers and the language used to describe the facility.
“The building is always described as peaceful,” he said. “The kids are described like they have no hope for their future.”
To make the point clear, Ben leaked a set of supposed inside notes written by facility supervisors who clearly treated the teens individually like a suspect.
In one, a staff member named Kevin complained that students were “stupidly being themselves.”
Another employee wrote that a teenager had been “demonstrating resistance to the demands of all the divorced employees.”
A third note reportedly described one student as “looking at me while I was walking without saying thank you automatically for nothing.”
The employees appeared particularly frustrated by the students’ refusal to love the toxic atmosphere.
“We have spent an enormous amount of money creating a calm, structured environment,” one real administrator wrote. “Then some 16-year-old walks in and has the correct opinion about it.”
Another staff member was less torn up.
“Every kid thinks they're the main character,” the employee wrote. “It's honestly exhausting. It's obviously us that are the main characters.”
A separate evaluation reportedly described a teenager as “scary, rude because he talks when not asked to, and hyperactive.”
Ben said the nature of the quotes was obvious to him because, among other things, one employee complained that students were “making eye contact in a confrontational manner.”
“That one got me,” Ben said. “Imagine being written up for looking at somebody.”
The "real" staff members also reportedly expressed frustration with the teenagers' continued interest in basic freedoms.
“Students frequently ask why they can't leave,” read one real note. “We have explained that they are here to work on themselves while we bully them. They continue to ask where the door is.”
Another employee suggested that the program's greatest challenge was getting teenagers to understand that their disagreements were, in fact, evidence of the need for the program.
“They keep saying they don't belong here,” the employee wrote. “Which is exactly the kind of thinking we're here to correct by giving them 2 pb&j sandwiches.”
By Thursday afternoon, the Provo Canyon administration had apparently become increasingly concerned that Ben was making the program look “less like professional therapy and more like a poorly run prison camp.”
Ben said the strangest part was that none of the material required particularly elaborate exaggeration.
“Ben pointed out that the comedy practically wrote itself. "You don't need to stretch the truth," he said. "Just put their corporate speech next to how people actually talk, and the joke makes itself."
At press time, Ben was reportedly still scrolling through old documents while eating cold pizza and occasionally whispering "dang" at his phone.
He said he had no plans to stop.
“I started this because I was curious,” Ben said. “Now I need to know why every place like this has a courtyard that looks like it was designed by someone who has never met a teenager.”
Disclaimer: This article is satire and parody. All quotes, inside notes, and specific employee interactions described are entirely fictional.
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