REDMOND, WA— Microsoft has reportedly unveiled a new premium gaming subscription that gives players access to one of the most essential features of modern gaming: looking at the games they can't play.
The service, dubbed "Xbox Lite", costs $15 a month and allows subscribers to open the Xbox menu, scroll through their library, admire games they don't own, and briefly hover over the “Buy Now” button before being returned to the home screen.
“This is really about giving players more choice,” a company spokesperson said in a statement. “Previously, people had to pay for games just to see them in their library. We're removing that unnecessary barrier.”
Under the new plan, subscribers can browse an extensive selection of titles, read descriptions, examine screenshots, and watch trailers.
Actually launching any of the games, however, requires upgrading to "Xbox Lite Plus", which costs an additional $24.99 per month.
Users who want to continue playing a game after the first 30 seconds will reportedly need the company's $39.99 "Xbox Lite Plus Ultimate Premium Gaming Experience", although the details of that tier remain unclear.
“I’ve always wanted to know what the inside of my Xbox menu looked like,” said Xbox user Daniel Mercer, 28, who claimed the subscription had “completely changed the way I don't play video games.”
Mercer said he spent most of Tuesday evening scrolling through games he had previously purchased.
“I was having a great time until I remembered I already owned those.”
Microsoft's hypothetical new pricing structure has already drawn praise from consumers who enjoy paying monthly fees for things they could theoretically access without one.
“I don't even need to play the games,” said one subscriber. “I just like knowing they're there.”
At press time, Xbox Lite subscribers had reportedly discovered that Settings were included at no additional charge, although users would have to upgrade to Xbox Lite Plus Ultimate Premium Gaming Experience to change the wallpaper.
Disclaimer: This article is entirely fictional and is intended for purposes of humor and satire. All characters, names, and events depicted in this story are products of imagination and are not meant to be taken seriously.
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I know someone that could use this
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